Si Bondye Vle

Si Bondye Vle. A creole phrase that drives me nuts. Translated it means: “If God wants/wills.” Why does this phrase drive me nuts? Many reasons, but the main reason it bothers me is that it bothers me at all. This phrase is often tacked on to the end of many promises and plans made in Haiti. Si Bondye vle. If God wills. 

I will be there at 6….si Bondye vle. 

We will do that Saturday...si Bondye vle. 

I will help you with that….si Bondye vle. 

Bah! The big reason this phrase bothers me is that I feel it is often used as a cop-out for irresponsibility and unreliability. “I’ll be there at that time...unless it doesn’t work out.” In my mind, it should work out. You should be there on time. You should do what you promised. You should keep your word. 

But, before this phrase was used to compensate for a lack of responsibility, I imagine that these words were genuinely said. Yes, if God wills, this will happen. This is a biblical idea as well (James 4:13-17).

Despite how much the phrase seems at times to be nails on a chalkboard to me, I have experienced the reality of this phrase so many times in Haiti, most recently this weekend. Haiti is a fairly unpredictable place and all plans really do need to be made with “si Bondye vle” in mind. 

We had the plan. Leave Thursday around one. Arrive in Gonaives that evening. Leave early the next morning, see the Citadel, return to Gonaives, sleep, return to Port-au-Prince Saturday so that we could go to church and participate in our Easter potluck on Sunday. We had a car. We had a place to stay. We had directions. Good to go, we were going to the Citadel! This place had been on my list for a while and I was pumped.

Our (not so) trusty cage truck. 

Playing cards in the back of the truck on the way out of Port-au-Prince.

Trying to get some sleep on the way. 

But, it was not meant to be. Around 5pm on Thursday afternoon the car carrying our group of ten died. We pulled over to see if it could be easily mended, but it couldn’t. Now, we don’t have the most reliable cars at the school, so this isn’t a freak thing. We were actually surprised this hadn’t happened on any of our other adventures. Breaking down wasn’t so surprising….but where we did break down was. 

In all of Haiti, we broke down about 5 miles from a mission run by people that Robbie & Irene know from the states. This mission is where Robbie and Irene came on one of their first trips to Haiti. For missionaries who have been in Haiti a decade or two it wouldn’t be weird to wind up somewhere near someone you know, it isn’t a huge country. However, Robbie and Irene have only been here a few months. How amazing that the car would break down so near this mission.

As the sun was sinking lower in the sky and the hope of one of us (or the few curious Haitian men trying to help) fixing the truck that night sank as well, Nathaniel and Robbie hoped on a moto taxi and rode to the mission. They returned a few minutes later in the back of the mission’s truck. We loaded all of our bags in the back of the truck while we pushed our broken jalopy off the road until it could be looked at again the next morning. 

As we rode in the back of the truck the short drive to the mission we stopped to think about how fortunate we were. In all the places we could have broken down, we broke down here. Given the state of our vehicles, a break-down is an ever present possibility. It blows my mind how protected we were (are). We could have broken down in a dangerous town, a remote area near no one, anywhere but where we did. How blessed we are. 

We arrived at the mission and went up to the roof. There was a revival going on at the church on their compound so we listened to the sweet music and the preaching as Robbie cooked us a camp meal of rice, beans, and sausage. We sat in the cool evening air watching the full moon appear and disappear behind dark grey clouds, illuminating the sky when it peeked from behind. How blessed we are. 

Waiting for dinner on the roof. 

The mission was sweet! They have been on this compound for decades and the lodging was amazing. We were prepared to just sleep on the roof, but our hosts insisted we take a few of the many bedrooms available. Jill and I went into our bedroom and sat down on one of the beds and were in awe. In case you were wondering, the most comfortable bed in the world resides in La Croix, Haiti. This bed was like sleeping on one of the clouds we had just watched roll across the sky. It may seem like I’m being dramatic, but the bed I sleep in each night leaves much to be desired and this was a great change. The building also had multiple (very clean!) bathrooms and showers and after riding in a cage truck for 5 hours, nothing felt better than washing the grime and dust off our skin. And finally, as if the hospitality, soft-beds, and clean bathrooms weren’t enough, there was an ample supply of Starbucks coffee brewing when we woke up. So very blessed.

Best bed ever!

View from the roof of the mission the next morning. 

Our Next Adventure

With Easter approaching we have a four and a half day weekend starting tomorrow. When we get an extended amount of time off we like to use it to explore more of this country that we are beginning to call home. This weekend's adventure....The Citadel!

The Citadel or, Citadelle Laferriere, is the largest fortress in the Americas. It was commissioned in 1805 by Henri Christophe shortly after Haiti won its independence in 1804. You can read more about the history of The Citadel here. 

We are leaving tomorrow afternoon and hopefully returning Saturday afternoon. It will be a quick trip, but one that I'm sure will be full of fun and adventure. Check back to here to see how our trip went and, hopefully, to see some great pictures!

Schlepping to Seguin with Several Seniors

(did you like my attempt at alliteration...nice huh?)

Striking a pose on the hike back home.

Weekend before last 6 teachers (myself included) and all 23 members of the QCS Senior class participated in the annual senior hike up to Seguin. This was the same hike that a few of us participated in over Spring Break....with a few differences.

Fun girls!

Difference one: distance. When we did our hike, the tap tap that took us to the start of the trail dropped us off a teensy bit early....about 6-8 miles early. Also, on this trip we were stopping in Seguin, not continuing on to Jacmel. This made all the difference in out attitude and our feet. (I chose to wear tennis shoes instead of my trusty Chacos which also made quite the difference).

Katie and I along the trail!

Difference two: luggage. Spring Break hike = we had to take everything with us. Everything. Tent/hammock, food, water, clothes, all on our backs. Senior Hike: instead of camping in the woods, we were staying at a cabin; a marvelous cabin where they set up tents for us, provided us with ample drinking water, cooked all our meals for us. Without sleeping gear, cooking stuff, and food on our backs our packs were much much lighter than the other trip.

Difference three: Rain. Lots. And. Lots. Of. Rain. About halfway up the mountain on the way up the skies opened up and a rain of apocalyptic proportions fell down upon us for the next 2-3 hours. Our group of 29 was scattered over a couple of miles along the trail. Some students took shelter under moto stands or abandoned buildings while others had to suffer the relentless rain while walking along the trail.

We sought shelter from the rain in an old, abandoned building.

Difference four: no camping...well, different camping. We slept in tents, but that was the extent of the "camping." An interesting man named Winnie has a cabin settled on the outskirts of the Pine Forest near Seguin. His cabin has a dining area, kitchen, two bedrooms, two bathrooms, a cute living area and a large yard perfect for setting up several tents.

The first afternoon as students were trickling into the cabin area, drenched with rain and shivering from the cold (yes, cold, in Haiti. It was quite chilly up in the mountains all weekend. I loved it!), our hosts were grilling up chicken that smelled as if it was sent down from heaven. We spent the evening talking, laughing, warming up, and having fun. The next day our group walked to a waterfall near by and explored for a bit before being chased back to the cabin by the rain that came down.

We played games in the woods on our way to the waterfall. 

A group followed the little river to find some more falls.

On Sunday our group rose early, dined on a delicious and carb-filled breakfast of spaghetti (seriously) and headed back down the mountain. Racing the rain, our pace was much quicker than on the way up to Seguin. The trail was mostly downhill with the exception of a few very nasty, very steep mountains. We arrived back at our starting point and waited on the vans to pick us up. Sore, dirty, and successful in our hike. I was glad to have the chance to get to know these students better and to revisit such a beautiful part of Haiti.

The QCS Senior class of 2012!

Thoughts from Discipleship Group

In Donald Miller’s book Blue Like Jazz, there is a scene where Donald and several of his friends did something odd on their college campus in Seattle. The set up a “Christiany” booth on campus during a night known for debauchery and drunkenness. When other students heard about their project they thought it was the typical Christian “evangetable” where you can pick up a tract and some self-righteous judgement all in one stop, but their project was different. At their booth, someone from outside would come in and, instead of receiving judgement or condemnation inside, they would receive an apology from a Christian. An apology from someone they didn’t know for something that person didn’t do, but it was an apology for all the garbage (I have no other word for it) that Christians do while wearing the banner of Christ. I don’t mean just the crusades and witch hunts, but the present day garbage, and we have a lot of it. 

Something happened yesterday in my regular old school day that reminded me of this scene in Blue Like Jazz. Yesterday I met with my discipleship group which now consists of two girls who, quote frankly, don’t want to be discipled. They don’t call themselves Christians and don’t want anything to do with Christianity. They go to QCS, they sit in chapel, they do their bible class homework, but they don’t want more “Jesus” than they already have to sit through. 

And yesterday, I found out why.

Christians.

That word is so amorphous. So undefined. So blurry. 

When asked to describe what a Christian is, these girls gave responses like this….

Judgmental.

Two-faced.

Not fun.

One way at chapel, another behind your back.

Judgmental.

Can’t watch certain movies or listen to certain music.

Self-Righteous.

Boring.

Judgmental.

“I want to be closer to God, but I don’t want to be a Christian.”

What do you do with a statement like that? And I can’t completely disagree with her. When I think about some things Christians (myself included) do, some thing in the name of Jesus, I don’t want any part of that. I don’t mean the big things either, I mean the small and seemingly insignificant actions. 

The gossip and language.

The judgmental comments.

The self-righteous piety.

I read a post someone had shared on Facebook that communicated this sort of thing very well. Here it is. 

How can we as Christians reverse these ideas and these stereotypes of Christianity? I think we do that by just changing the direction we point our fingers. For so long we’ve pointed our fingers at others; the murderer, the druggie, the whore, the thief. I don’t think we just switch the direction and point them back at us; the gossip, the prideful, the pious, the judgmental. I think we point to Christ. We are all messed up beyond all reason. We are all so full of junk it’s unbearable. But that’s why he came. 

“It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.” Mark 2:17

We are all sick. We are all sinners. We all need him. And I think that’s what I want my students to realize. 

As our time in discipleship group closed I challenged the girls this week, everywhere they heard about Jesus, to not shut down and close their ears. Instead, I asked them to shut out every Christian they had ever known before, good or bad. I asked them to focus on Christ, not Christians. We’ll see. 

“I like you Christ. I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.”

I pray today I can be more like Christ. 

New Addition

Meet Jasper! 

He was really pooped the first night in his new home. 

His full name is Jasper Clive.  This is the new addition to the Haiti casa. His presence came about from several factors. 1) a friend of ours had kittens 2) we wanted something furry living in our house that wasn’t a mouse 3) we wanted something furry that would eat the mice. So, here is this little guy. He is a little stressed out trying to adjust. I know absolutely nothing about cats. Well, I should say I knew nothing about cats. I’ve been devouring online articles about cat training and things like that so I am slightly more knowledgable than I was a couple weeks ago, but that isn’t saying much. 

Checking out my computer. 

The first two nights have gone well. The first night he was tired and stressed and slept most of the time he was with us. Yesterday the mewing began. Constant whining and meowing anytime we are out of sight. It’s cute and also kind of annoying. He is becoming more comfortable, more playful, and a little more mischievous. 

Our friend Jill adopted his sister and she came over to play last night. Brother and sister reunited!

Taking a little bath together. 

Cuddles.

Fetal position kitty. 

He is cute and awesome and we love him. 

America Sick

There are very few mornings where I wake up and long for America. I love my country and, like Lee Greenwood, I am proud to be an American, but it’s rare that I miss it. I miss my family and my friends. I miss chick-fil-a and driving a car, but overall, I don’t really miss living in the states too often. I don’t miss the hurried business that permeates everything. I don’t miss the entitlement and materialism that sits like a fog over Dallas. I don’t miss the television and commercials and stuff. 

However, for the last few days I have been really missing some of the American “comforts” that I took for granted. Never wondering if you will have electricity that night. Being able to walk out to a car and go wherever you want. Being able to flush a toilet...any toilet. Eating something without washing it several times. 

Normally these things don’t bother me too much. I’ve gotten used to the “different” style of life here (I don’t want to use the word “difficult” because my life is candy, puppies, and rainbows compared to most of the world). But this past week I’ve really missed the normalcy and predictability that comes with life in America. 

Last Friday I was walking with some friends on the street and fell and got a pretty gross scrape on my leg. No big deal really, I fall often. The scrape healed within the week, but I noticed a few days ago I had about 25-30 bumps on my leg that looked like bug bites and itched like crazy. We first thought it was bed bugs and that grossed me out completely. I wanted to throw away my mattress, sheets, blanket, and pillow all at once and just sleep on the floor. This day was after yet another night of no electricity in our apartment (there have been more nights without electricity than with this semester) which means lots of street noise and lots of bugs and not a lot of sleep.  

I didn’t completely freak out and throw all of my stuff into a fire to get rid of the bugs. After internet research and help from my friend Jill we determined it was an infection sort of like staph. I am now taking antibiotics and it is getting better, but the idea that there were bedbugs (along with mice, cockroaches, spiders, and the ever-present mosquitoes) freaked me out….a lot. 

Saying all this makes me really feel like a spoiled brat, but what else is a blog for but sharing your thoughts and feelings with the world. 

Weekend Differences

When I lived in Dallas, the big city, I don’t think I lived a big city life style. When Friday rolled around I didn’t look forward to slipping on my heels and glittery shirt and hitting up the uptown bars and fancy restaurants. I didn’t go clubbing or dancing or any of the “city” things one normally thinks of when they hear that word. On Fridays I would hang out with my friends either at a casual restaurant or watching a movie at someone’s house. Saturdays would begin with a long run followed by a stack of pancakes. Any number of things could happen that afternoon but none would involve fancy clothes or a lot of money. Sometimes friends and I would shop, run errands, serve somewhere in the city, catch up on work, etc. Saturday nights would again be spent with friends hanging out at someone’s house or maybe going to see a movie. 

I thought that my weekends here would be drastically different, but they really aren’t. This last Friday night four friends and I walked down to a restaurant for dinner (instead of mexican food we had pork and goat with rice and beans) then, we gathered at a friend’s house to hang out (well, we weren’t so much at the house as we were on the house...we hang out on the roof because it is nice and cool). Saturday morning Jill and I taptapped up to get groceries. Saturday night we were, again, hanging out with friends. Sunday was church and more friend time. Other weekend activities also include wandering down to the ravine to where some kids we know live, going for walks, lounging around, etc. Katie and I have pancakes each and every Saturday and occassionally that is preceded by a nice run around the neighborhood (that is definitely  different from a run in Dallas and deserves another post of its own). All in all, I don’t feel like my weekends are that different here. I spend them with great friends living, relaxing, serving, loving, etc.